Cinnamon-Sugar Muffins!

For the first time in my life, I have followed a recipe without any alteration.  None at all.  Still, my cinnamon sugar muffins were not nearly as pretty as the ones here.  :(  However, the taste was...wow.  They're so moist and dense and delicious...I just can't stop eating them.  I will be making these again and again and again.  The recipe is easy to follow and the method is foolproof.  Next time, I'll be making one change, though.  I'm doubling the recipe.

Hot and Sour Soup and Kidney Bean Relish/Salad/Dip

 Okay, so I learned two things today.  First, even though I'm mostly Chinese, I can't cook Chinese food for my life.  Second, the number of servings listed on a recipe is relative, and by no means should you assume that they are normal, human-sized portions.  I poached the recipe from here, and stuck to it for the most part (a first for me).  Since the recipe was supposed to yield two servings, I doubled it, seeing as I have to feed four people.  That was big mistake #1.  I ended up with a HUGE pot of mediocre-weirdly-flavored-fake-tasting-Cantonese soup.  Big mistake #2: so maybe I altered the recipe a little bit.  As in, I might have omitted most of the soy sauce, substituted chicken broth, passed over the mushrooms, and added some Sriracha because it wasn't spicy enough.  At the end of the day, I'm still not sure whether or not the weird flavor can be attributed to a bad recipe, or just me.  Either way, I'm not going to make this again.  Ever.

Recipe taken from here.  I'm still not sure what bean relish is, even after making it.  All I know is that it tastes pretty damn good.  The recipe said it yielded a mere 10 portions, but with 7 cans of beans and 2 cups of mayo, I'm pretty sure these portions are massive.  I opted to use one lonely can of beans, because that's all I had on hand, and added the rest of the ingredients to taste.  It was delicious.  So delicious that I'm running out to the store tomorrow and buying more beans.  Not delicious enough to make "10 servings" of it, though.

Quick Seared Ahi with Mango Salsa

Oh look at me! I’m oh so healthy. Quick seared Ahi Tuna with mango salsa! The key to the Ahi is freshness. The only seasonings are salt and pepper. Most of the flavor comes from the fish itself. The mango salsa recipe was “borrowed” from Barefoot Contessa. The salsa consists of mangos, jalapenos, garlic, ginger, brown sugar, onions and fresh squeezed orange juice. Light and refreshing.

Shrimp, Bacon & Gouda Puff Pastries

Flowery little puff pastries. I would be a damn perfect housewife, if it weren’t for the whole “ put dogs in the oven” thing. I used cookie cutters to make the pretty puff shapes and then invented my own filling. First I sauteed bacon strips. Then I added onions, squash and shrimp and seasoned them with a little salt and pepper. I mixed in a little mayo, scooped them into the puffs, and sprinkled them with fresh Gouda cheese. Finally, I popped them into the oven and out came these babies.

Pecan Pie and Jello Shooters!

So I decided to make my first pie from scratch. Unlike Pauleen, it wasn’t easy for me to do ;) I substituted vegetable oil for Crisco in an effort to be healthy, but then I used two sticks of butter in my pie. I'm convinced the butter made it taste 218903673 times better. Paula Deen has taught me well.
For my after dessert-dessert, I decided to get a little naughty and made some jello shots. Instead of the trashy kind, I made these adorable little orange slices. Like my bff Deep always says, “ CLASS IT UP.” I scooped out the oranges, put in my special mix, and let it chill overnight. My mix consisted of orange jello, 7-up and Triple Sec Orange Liqueur. Yeah thats right. Pauleen + April = the best you ever had.

Vegetarian Black Bean Burgers

Recipe loosely based on this.  One can of mashed black beans mixed with a cup of cooked mixed grain rice, one medium diced onion, a small jalapeño, a healthy dose of Thai sweet chili sauce, cilantro, garlic, two eggs, half a slice of bread's worth of breadcrumbs, half a cup of flour, and salt and pepper to taste.  Topped with Santa-Fe style corn and black bean salsa and a sprig of cilantro.  Not pretty, but pretty damn flavorful.

Bite-sized lasagna and apple walnut cinnamon rolls!

These were really easy to make, and absolutely delicious.  Case in point, there were two dozen of these on the counter at 2:00 this afternoon.  And now there are only eight.  Needless to say, I ate so much I almost died.  Painfully worth it.

Who knew making cinnamon rolls was so awfully difficult?  True, I opted to hand mix instead of using (and washing) the electric beater.  And also true, I ran out of flour and had to flour the board with yellow cake mix.  Even though these rolls were to die for, I won't jump at the chance to make them again...unless someone else washes the dishes.

Both of these recipes were stolen off of this blog and altered within an inch of their lives.  The lasagna recipe was doubled, mushrooms were omitted, and two pounds of turkey were used.  I also cut the sauce down to 25 ounces, because tomato sauce doesn't come in 29 ounce jars.  The cinnamon rolls were made without the cupcake shape, without the glaze, and with brown sugar substituting for white.  Because I ran out.  If only I had decided to make the cinnamon rolls yesterday, and the upside-down cake today. =(

Petite Quiche and Pineapple Upside-down Cake

 So I used this as a base recipe.  I ended up substituting Pillsbury biscuit dough for the bread rounds (yuck!), doubling the recipe, omitting the mustard powder, using American cheese, only seven eggs and one onion.  I also added oregano, salt, and chopped ham.  And because I don't read instructions, I just ended up mixing all of the ingredients in one bowl instead of layering them on top of the crust.  Oh well...

The pineapple upside-down cake is decidedly not pretty, because I ran out of brown sugar and substituted white sugar instead.  Used a standard recipe, but omitted the maraschino cherries (again, yuck).  Oh, and I substituted a banana for two of the eggs, because I ran out and was too lazy to go to the store to buy more.  Tasted surprisingly good- a little banana-y, but not in a bad way.  <3

Maybe some petite lasagnas tomorrow.  I love finger foods. (April get your cute butt on here! <3)